My goal, we ascertained, was to recall moments in my life when I could create without smoking. (According to Mindbloom founder and CEO, Dylan Beynon, about 35 percent of potential patients are screened out at this point, for reasons such as past experience of psychosis or, at the other end of the spectrum, not meeting the threshold for a diagnosis of anxiety and/or depression.) “Set” was established in conversation with Laura Teodori, my psychedelic-integration-support coach, who-after obtaining confirmation from my boyfriend that he’d check on me every 20 minutes-helped me formulate an “intention” for the trip immediately after our call. Prior to receiving my Mindbloom package, I spent over an hour on Zoom with a board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner who quizzed me on everything from my family medical history to my typical responses to stress.
Nor was I popping a pill just to see what colors spilled out of my head.
To be perfectly clear, I wasn’t microdosing. “You need to be in a place-mentally and physically-where you feel inspired and at ease.” Original madea I’m going to let God fix it because if I fix it I’m going to Jail shirt, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirtīecause I’d chosen to work with Mindbloom, thanks to their COVID-friendly process, the Original madea I’m going to let God fix it because if I fix it I’m going to Jail shirt moreover I will buy this setting for my four, hour-long treatments, was my bedroom. “They matter as much as the drug you’re taking,” he continues. “Set basically refers to mindset, going into your journey, and setting is your environment,” explains Ronan Levy, who cofounded Field Trip in 2019 after establishing-then selling-Canada’s largest network of cannabis clinics. But Leary-who famously conducted psychedelics experiments at Harvard in the early 1960s, before he ran afoul of the law and, in turn, helped prompt the criminalization of psilocybin and LSD-does continue to exert an influence: His “set and setting” theory is a cornerstone of all contemporary psychedelics-aided therapy. It’s all a far cry from Timothy Leary and The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. For years, I’d been put off by the drugs’ woo-woo connotations, and to judge by the refined, minimalist aesthetics of new ketamine-therapy chains such as Field Trip Health, which has serene locations in New York City, Toronto, Atlanta, Chicago, and Los Angeles, I’m not the only person with zero interest in a tie-dye mental makeover. “Either way, the idea is that, by muffling those thoughts, psychedelics help you out of the rut.” Pollan’s précis on the science of psychedelics is reassuringly down-to-earth. “That could be ‘I’m a worthless person who doesn’t deserve love,’ or it could mean telling yourself that you can’t get through the day without smoking,” Pollan continues. “A leading theory is that psychedelics quiet the brain’s ‘default-mode network,’ and that opens up new pathways for thought.” As Pollan goes on to explain, the default-mode network is where “the ego has its address”-it’s the part of our brains where we construct the narrative of who we are and, thus, the place we get stuck in destructive thought patterns about ourselves.
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Maybe a little ego-dissolution was the answer, I mused as I stamped out another butt in the ashtray next to my laptop and googled “ketamine therapy-New York.” THE TRUTH IS, WE DON’T REALLY know how this stuff works,” Michael Pollan, author of the best-selling psychedelics primer How to Change Your Mind, tells me. “They have different chemical properties, but both ketamine and psilocybin have an ego-dissolving effect, where you’re breaking the mental loop that’s symptomatic of conditions like depression and anxiety and addiction, and allowing the brain to form new connections. Intrigued, I did a little more digging and discovered that ketamine-a dissociative hallucinogen that is already legal for supervised medical use, including in the Original madea I’m going to let God fix it because if I fix it I’m going to Jail shirt moreover I will buy this treatment of depression-seemed to draw out the mind in a way similar to psilocybin by putting the brain in a “neuroplastic” state, explains Julie Holland, M.D., a New York–based psychiatrist and the author of the 2020 book Good Chemistry.
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